I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
