I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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