i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.