Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Got a toothbrush?

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  (734): Got a toothbrush? http://tfl.nu/c7ae
  Replies (7) Good night (2082) Bad night (1021)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands

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  (717): hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands http://tfl.nu/c6ww
  Replies (83) Good night (49961) Bad night (2267)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.

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  (505): I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them. http://tfl.nu/0g2b
  Replies (42) Good night (1161) Bad night (2408)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?

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  (817): What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"? http://tfl.nu/9rca
  Replies (29) Good night (9780) Bad night (1006)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.

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  (901): She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A. http://tfl.nu/01sf
  Replies (43) Good night (1842) Bad night (5696)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video

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  (512): its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video http://tfl.nu/p3je
  Replies (14) Good night (6879) Bad night (991)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five

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  (403): On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five http://tfl.nu/a3rp
  Replies (4) Good night (2415) Bad night (792)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.

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  (850): Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes. http://tfl.nu/ng3j
  Replies (4) Good night (2896) Bad night (743)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?

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  (270): How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night? http://tfl.nu/sgi1
  Replies (13) Good night (984) Bad night (2899)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it

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  (317): So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it http://tfl.nu/80uu
  Replies (7) Good night (4980) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work

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  (613): He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work http://tfl.nu/ow4z
  Replies (9) Good night (487) Bad night (1038)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"

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  (250): He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too" http://tfl.nu/d99r
  Replies (1) Good night (1446) Bad night (337)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.

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  (847): Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party. http://tfl.nu/n2f5
  Replies (6) Good night (419) Bad night (888)
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  (310): View more from California

  I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.

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  (310): I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/rytq
  Replies (5) Good night (668) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.

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  (513): It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is. http://tfl.nu/opxa
  Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (217)

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