my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
