Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".

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(818): The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp". http://tfl.nu/1x9v

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(815): View more from Illinois

Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.

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(815): Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are. http://tfl.nu/ve28

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.

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(502): Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks. http://tfl.nu/e7zg

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea

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(608): Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea http://tfl.nu/i55m

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(716): View more from New York

i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...

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(716): i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward... http://tfl.nu/0sye

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.

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(910): He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts. http://tfl.nu/0rlv

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Umm you met him three days ago....

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I said what I said

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(267): We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for (215): Umm you met him three days ago.... (267): I said what I said http://tfl.nu/18h0

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(614): View more from Ohio

Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here

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(614): Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here http://tfl.nu/czu0

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.

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(763): Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking. http://tfl.nu/53g7

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(815): View more from Illinois

you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.

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(815): you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night. http://tfl.nu/m1vr

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(+35): View more from

i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.

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(+35): i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry. http://tfl.nu/d5vb

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.

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(570): He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander. http://tfl.nu/mcls

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(408): View more from California

sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.

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(408): sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here. http://tfl.nu/d4g6

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(815): View more from Illinois

He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.

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(815): He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background. http://tfl.nu/8wbf

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(540): View more from Virginia

I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...

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(540): I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff... http://tfl.nu/wq37

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