Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems