paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
No subtext here. People are naked.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.