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The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
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