Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance

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(212): View more from New York

that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.

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(+66): View more from Thailand

A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.

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(207): View more from Maine

You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.

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(251): View more from Alabama

Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.

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