his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
my poor anus
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
