Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
