Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
