I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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