I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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