He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
