Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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