Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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