You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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