if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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