I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
