We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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