I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize