I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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