Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
