The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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