i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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