Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
