Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
