I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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