"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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