make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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