at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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