Duck Duck Cougar?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
