omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
