last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My pussy is not your playground.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
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Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
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The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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