sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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