I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Barsexuality is the new black.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
