can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
