i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
