YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm passing your future prison.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
my poor anus
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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