he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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