...so i touched it.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.