Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
