1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
