He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
