what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
