This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
