i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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