Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
