Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have fence marks all over my body
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
