Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
