I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
