This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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