Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
