its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
