I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
