i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
