plz talk dirty to me
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
