omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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