I bet he comes in French.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
