someone get that fucking seahorse.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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