Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
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I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
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I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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