So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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