You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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