I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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