Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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