Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
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you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
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Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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