Michael Bay diarrhea
My balls are so social today.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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