Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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