did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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