Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
