Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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