His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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