so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
