ya dads aren't the best wingmen
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize